reflections

My body aches! I wrote this at the conclusion of what has been a very exciting, a very interesting and very humbling four days that have at this moment gone as if in a blur. More on what I have been doing will follow in another post with pictures.

I had the opportunity of getting together with family the other night which is something I have often taken for granted. Topics of conversation varied, as it does, and settled for a while on the seriousness and concern we all feel for a brother who is in serious health distress. When life goes along as it often does, sometimes things seem to come out of nowhere which blind side you and take you totally off guard. This certainly has happened to Marcelina's family recently and now appears yet again.

It is at these times when I think and ponder upon my own life, what does it mean for me? have I achieved what I wanted?, or do I drift along? it makes me think seriously about my mortality generally.

I think on a kind of whole other level, that though my life has become complicated by many "things", events, activities, places and emotions, I have come to realise, almost by surprise, that I love simplicity. I am becoming a minimalist. I have a theory that if I don't use it for six months or more I can live without it. TRUE, I have thrown out things under that premise and some time regretted it, yet I continue to want to live and be more simple. I will continue to strive to remove the clutter.

In the midst of confusion, angst and stress, there are many things we experience as people that are beyond words. Perhaps it is akin to having experienced the deep and tragic loss of a close loved one or friend that allows you to recognise that emptiness and loneliness in the eyes of another, when an embrace is all that is required to give comfort, understanding and support.

All that said, this past few days has re-awakened within me again, the gratitude for friends, family, the chance to do what I love and the subtle gifts of feeling and relying on a higher heavenly power.

I rarely refer to my beliefs on this blog, I avoid many religious references mainly because it is very personal, and I do not want to offer my thoughts, feelings and beliefs on a public table for discussion, criticism or ridicule.

I have been sent posted letters previously and recently about the supposed folly of my beliefs with accompanying paraphernalia that proves the futile things I have chosen to believe in and how I should "repent" and follow variations in beliefs and creeds contrary to what I have already independently chosen.

I always find it interesting that these people who feel it within their desire to reach out and change me to see their "light" do so in the darkness of anonymity.

However at this point I feel a personal wish to express my gratitude for divine guidance and comfort that reaches deep within and lifts the heart. My gratitude for the guidance and comfort extends far beyond that of heartfelt prayer. I am so grateful for so many things, so many people and for the chance I have to be a small part of the things I am.