Reflecting on the weekend that was...
It has been a busy weekend. 2 full weddings and 1 last part of a reception, and a Christening today with full studio portraits and everything. I am so tired. Not really sleepy tired but drained. I guess I can include emotionally in that as well. After a doctors appointment the other day I thought I would give my mum a call. She seemed down and we spoke a little and she mentioned that she has had a biopsy on a lump in her throat / jaw region. She added that when the results came back to her the Doctor said simply, and rudely - "well, the results aren't good girly!" My Mum, (my adopted Mum Grace is 75 years old).
Where do these people get off saying stuff like that. I think Mum went into a state of denial, then ignored the need to ask further questions in case she didn't like the answers. The response, is perfectly normal. But sheesh, What the? I think the Doctor himself needs a better "bedside" manner or at least try and place himself in the hands of other health professionals to understand a little more the anguish that can fall upon a person, or upon a family when the news like this is delivered so coldly and callously.
It appears that after she made further enquiries of the Doctor, it was suggested by him that she may have a malignant growth. We aren't saying the "C" word yet. (Cancer) It has been a sobering thought at the back of my mind as I have laboured long and arduously over the weekend. A thought my labour and weddings and other photo shoots have not been able to extinguish.
I would expect and hope that anyone reading this blog who knows my Mum personally, NOT act on this information and go "over the top" with her and treat her all weird and stuff. That is one of the things she and I spoke of. She was deciding whether to tell anyone at all. I just am airing the feelings I have been so trying to ignore this weekend and dismiss. But I am heavy hearted. My mum and I have had a falling out over several issues over the last few years, and I have occasionally and horridly thought that if she "went" I would be OK and yes I would miss her, but I would be OK. Seems the only person I was deceiving was me.
I Love my Mum. She certainly has her fair share of faults, but then who amongst us doesn't I ask? I have as many as she, and then some! I will not go "over the top" with her, but with the scare she has been administered, I can tell she is a little lost, and who wouldn't be. She is a good lady. She works hard and touches the hearts and lives of many people with whom she comes in contact. I am grateful that Denzel has two Nan's I had one, for a short time, I met her once that I recall and then some months later she died of alcohol related issues. She was my Mum's Mum and was a stolid, strong and unyielding woman. She could tough it with any man I met. She was built from farm stock, without the use of machinery and had a hard life as well.
So in this little post I have been so busy, and so drained over the past few days. I have had the use of a hire car, a PT cruiser convertible which was lovely to drive with the top down when it wasn't raining. But whilst there have been some subtle highlights from the weekend, my mind has been in many places over the last few days. I have been pondering the very fragility of life and reflecting the brief time we are here. Now that I am 43, I am thinking 50 doesn't look as old as it used to. I will from today, lay to rest the differences I have had with Mum and move forward to enjoy the time we have remaining, whether it is months or years. I think while I am at it, I might just lay the other differences I have with others here on the same place and walk away with fresh eyes and a lighter back. If there be people who visit here whom I may have offended, I apologise and ask for your forgiveness.
Life is too short.
Whilst the lyrics below seem to suggest a passing has already occurred and it hasn't and we're hoping it is not going to be hastened. I hope that we can feel the importance of laying aside the things that divide us and stop withholding the love and happiness we all intrinsically desire.
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The
Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The
Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just
Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To
Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The
Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
Michael Jackson
CP
Where do these people get off saying stuff like that. I think Mum went into a state of denial, then ignored the need to ask further questions in case she didn't like the answers. The response, is perfectly normal. But sheesh, What the? I think the Doctor himself needs a better "bedside" manner or at least try and place himself in the hands of other health professionals to understand a little more the anguish that can fall upon a person, or upon a family when the news like this is delivered so coldly and callously.
It appears that after she made further enquiries of the Doctor, it was suggested by him that she may have a malignant growth. We aren't saying the "C" word yet. (Cancer) It has been a sobering thought at the back of my mind as I have laboured long and arduously over the weekend. A thought my labour and weddings and other photo shoots have not been able to extinguish.
I would expect and hope that anyone reading this blog who knows my Mum personally, NOT act on this information and go "over the top" with her and treat her all weird and stuff. That is one of the things she and I spoke of. She was deciding whether to tell anyone at all. I just am airing the feelings I have been so trying to ignore this weekend and dismiss. But I am heavy hearted. My mum and I have had a falling out over several issues over the last few years, and I have occasionally and horridly thought that if she "went" I would be OK and yes I would miss her, but I would be OK. Seems the only person I was deceiving was me.
I Love my Mum. She certainly has her fair share of faults, but then who amongst us doesn't I ask? I have as many as she, and then some! I will not go "over the top" with her, but with the scare she has been administered, I can tell she is a little lost, and who wouldn't be. She is a good lady. She works hard and touches the hearts and lives of many people with whom she comes in contact. I am grateful that Denzel has two Nan's I had one, for a short time, I met her once that I recall and then some months later she died of alcohol related issues. She was my Mum's Mum and was a stolid, strong and unyielding woman. She could tough it with any man I met. She was built from farm stock, without the use of machinery and had a hard life as well.
So in this little post I have been so busy, and so drained over the past few days. I have had the use of a hire car, a PT cruiser convertible which was lovely to drive with the top down when it wasn't raining. But whilst there have been some subtle highlights from the weekend, my mind has been in many places over the last few days. I have been pondering the very fragility of life and reflecting the brief time we are here. Now that I am 43, I am thinking 50 doesn't look as old as it used to. I will from today, lay to rest the differences I have had with Mum and move forward to enjoy the time we have remaining, whether it is months or years. I think while I am at it, I might just lay the other differences I have with others here on the same place and walk away with fresh eyes and a lighter back. If there be people who visit here whom I may have offended, I apologise and ask for your forgiveness.
Life is too short.
Whilst the lyrics below seem to suggest a passing has already occurred and it hasn't and we're hoping it is not going to be hastened. I hope that we can feel the importance of laying aside the things that divide us and stop withholding the love and happiness we all intrinsically desire.
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The
Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The
Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just
Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To
Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The
Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
Michael Jackson
CP
Comments
Really at a loss as to what to say.
I wish I could extend some comfort and reassurance...but I'm way out here in cyberspace.
I guess it is a time for family to cluster and hold on to each other and hold each other up.
May you all be supported and sustained.
V2T
Thanks heaps
My thoughts are with you and your mum. For the record, I never really believed you when you used to say that you no longer share a special relationship with her - you would say it but I never missed the tinge of sadness in your eyes that suggested you wanted things to be right again with her.
Life throws us many unexpected adversities and unfortunately (or fortunately) it takes something like this to realise that Life really is short and how important it is to live each day as though it were our last. None of us has any idea just how long we have to live, yet postpone things we really want to do - like telling the people who really matter to us just how much we love them.
I was listening to that song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" the other day and it prompted me to tell the one person who was and is my greatest love so that I could leave this world without any regret or doubt about whether he knew that.
You are blessed with this special time to really show her how much you care. I am confident you will take advantage of it to the fullest.
Take care and I'll keep you both in my prayers.
Has she had the opportunity to read this entry?
V2T
You are very welcome here. You mentioned once that you thought I would be pleased if you left my blog. I think my responses in general have shown that to be a flawed belief.
I liked your photo of her - she looks kind and gentle. Does she have an Asian ancestory?
Am I a complete stranger?
Apart from the entries I have made in your comments section, I play absolutely no part in your life so, yes, I guess that makes me a stranger.
You have mentioned several times that you know who I am though. So I guess I'm not a 'complete' stranger.
I am happy to be welcome here though because I enjoy visiting.
V2T
She is a kind a gentle sould. No she has, we have Maori and polynesian Ancestory with some Anglo-saxon and Irish influence in their somewhere also I believe.
And as for "knowing" you, I seemingly don't know you socially or from within my small circle of friends. I had thought it was some or one of them initially. However, from your comments that would not be the case, and as such I wish to help make you even more at home here. I am very grateful for your interest, visits and comments. I tried updating the blog this morning to give it fresh look and feel. I like it and am confident that in the future I will probably change it again. You are a dear and wonderful person. Thank you.
Just to confirm for you, I am not in any way involved in your social life. Judging from your blog entries, you seem to have a rich and interesting social life, and I do enjoy reading your accounts.
Also, to answer any mystery....
I am not "from within [your] small circle of friends," which is probably my loss. You seem to be a man who treasures his friends.
The new look for the blog is fun. Nice to have a change from time to time in life, it can be very refreshing. The photo of you playing with your son is precious and full of joy.
Have a great weekend!
V2T
Thank you so much for your kind remarks and generous comments. I value your friendship and I marvel at your passion that is applied to the concerts you go to and the zest for life that you share also. I look forward to catching up with you soon. Thanks for stopping and lingering here.