Humming in My Universe today....

The other night I was in a forum listening to some dairy farmers talk about the trials and struggles they are facing on the land at present. The effects of the drought have brought some to their financial knees. The drought has as an obvious effect, no moisture and hence no grass can grow. They are forced to order feed to be brought in to their properties.

The added cost in this exercise continues to cost some thousands of dollars in having this happen. A farmer from the Riverina district of NSW said that he is paying $1200 a day for feed and grain and the money he is making from the sale of his milk at current market price may suggest he will lose overall by March 2008 some $150,000. His beef obviously, is that he is paying money to lose $150,000 cannot continue. Others who are not in as strong as a position are facing generational ruin. Imagine the additional burden hanging over you of having the prospect of losing the family farm with which you have been entrusted from your parents and grandparents. My heart went out to these people. It was an education for me.

We hear on the news the trials these people face and think yeah, yeah, but when you see the anger, the passion, the despair and the faint shred of hope these people have about what they do, about the contribution they make as primary producers for this country which was given birth in a real sense to the farmers and their produce of this great land, it is hard not to be moved.

Similarly I have been involved in doing the artwork for an egg carton that has spanned some months. The egg carton artwork is printed in China because of its cheap cost, and then exported here and filled with the best eggs the world has to offer.(Does that sound like an ad?) The egg producers, which have literally hundreds of millions, tied up in their plants, which are extremely hygienic and automated to ensure the highest standards for the eggs we buy, are also facing a massive problem. The drought has caused the cost of their feed for the chickens to increase some 3 times over the last 18 months, and when your costs increase so much, the natural consequence you would think will / would be that the price of eggs rises? At present the cost hasn’t moved. Nobody wants a price rise on eggs, then after what I have said about milk, then vegetables and fruit, then the cycle and circle widens. The costs are blowing out, and with no increase what happens? We either continue to pay more for the same things, or pay the same amount and get less in the container. We have the chocolate biscuit Tim Tams, packets of chips / crisps as an example to start with. In the case of the eggs, I can tell you what happens in one particular instance, the carton size changes from 12 eggs down to 10! How do I know? I have just done or assisted in the artwork. Admittedly each egg is a massive 70 grams and so is better than most cartons but one of the off shoots is the saying of whether something is the same as 1 1/2 dozen or the other almost becomes redundant in relation to the humble egg anyway. I love eggs!!! especially with runny yolks which I believe is known widely as "over easy".

In such little ways we are seeing life change. I remember living once when I was young in front of a bakery called Fielders Bakery in Parramatta / Harris Park. Every morning I arose to the smell of really fresh and warm bread. Mum would every other morning send me to the bakery at the back to buy a loaf of bread and I would always look for a girl or a particular guy who would always give me 1 or two free buns, fresh and warm.Yummo. I loved just sniffing the bread it was heaven. Sometimes I would not even make it home with them. I normally loved firm butter (not margarine crap) spread onto the bun and I would watch the butter be absorbed and then eat the bread with a mug of warm milk and Milo. Just great memories. The cost of a loaf of bread was $0.50 that’s right. 50 cents. Today some 20+ years later it has tripled. Not too bad I guess but I have been feeling of late to stop and freeze the moment. In my mind’s eye I call it a camera and I snap a shot in my memory. I sometimes do so at the most illogical places. I have been known to stop at the lights in my car and gaze on the ground of concrete and see a small but determined plant growing defiantly through the cracks and I will look and say to myself, enjoy this moment, you may never see it again.

I do that with people, with situations and the simplest moments. I try at the end of the day to rewind and play back some of those moments I froze in my mind earlier in the day. I think it makes me grateful for who I am, grateful that I have the chance to live, grateful for the chance to appreciate the life that slips past me often without fanfare or event. It is my personal active protest that I will not sit idly by and miss the moments without absorbing as many as I can before they pass me by.

I again was reminded today of how some of the things I do and some of the standard conversations I have discussed with people have come back to bite me in the ass. I chatted with a former colleague a few weeks ago about the job, I can’t remember much of what I said, but he applied meaning to it and went and sought some sort of political or strategic gain with his former employer and then caused people within that organisation to add their bit to the overall Chinese whisper and then conclude things about me which I believe were unfounded. I was told of the situation this morning, by a man I respect, and it has strangely drained me today. Part of me wants to react, to confront the person, perhaps get angry, and perhaps seek retribution, but why? The only one who loses is me….again. If I choose to listen to all of the negative comments that has been said, and will be said over my life, I might as well give up the game now. But alas I won't.


But what I do is analyse what has been said. Look to see if there is any truth about what they said. If there is, I make the appropriate course corrections and move on. Otherwise, I move on regardless. I couldn’t do real politics with the storms and times that invariably come to politicians of all persuasions when it might seem the whole world is gunning for you, and like dogs to the slaughter the opponents won’t give up. Certainly my predicament is not the same, but I am so drained by it nonetheless today. A friend has a blog called Humming in my Universe, and I would like to borrow that title today for this post. I think it is appropriate. But rather than continue to bottle up inside from the actions of this person or incident and their narrow mindedness, I will not cease to be me and be afraid to get hurt because I say what I feel. What power do I hand the faceless commentators in my life when I change the very essence of who I am to avoid getting hurt...again. I loved the song I hope you Dance that said;

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
get your fill but never lose that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid he ever leave's you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you Dance.....

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
never settle for the path of least resistence
living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out reconsider
give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance

and I am trying to, every day I live. It is my wish for you also.

My heart and concern this evening goes lovingly out to the many people in stress be it financial, emotional or situational. My problems diminish, and my pains on a number of fronts dissipate when I come to know of others and their stories. I so admire Spielberg for creating a Holocaust survivor archive. I would like to be wealthy enough not to have to worry about the day-to-day survival and bills etc, and start creating a Nationally available video and sound archive of people in this country who make up all the aspects of the society I live in. What a record that would be. I would love to do that. Everyone has a story to tell. Admittedly some are more interesting than others, but I would love to record them. It might also help me jam several lifetimes of experience into one.

My last point in this long post is about a man called Charles Buckton. This was a wonderful man. He died a few years ago, and I had the privilege one day to spend some time with him as he taught a young girl about gardening. I just watched and photographed him and in between the teaching moments he shared things about his life, the struggles he faced in the war, struggles he faced after it and the passion with which he loved this country and anyone who made a contribution to life. I learned a great deal of life that day watching it from a postdoctoral graduate of life.

It’s a long post today. Life is changing don’t let it pass you by without looking at a sunset, a sunrise, a friend, a flower, a child’s face, an animals glance and realise this moment will soon be gone.

Carpe Diem