lost in translation

I have been in wonder and yet perplexed in recent times, with some of the things I think, mention or feel, that I share with others. I find sometimes that the comments, thoughts or feelings have taken on a life of their own. Somewhere along their journey they transform into objects that bear little or no relevance to the original thoughts and feelings that were intended by their source.

We live in such an interesting place and time. I have heard it said that these are the best and worst of times. So may it be. Because we all face life with different environmental, parental, and generational differences, an innocent remark could injure someone and ruin friendships and lives in some cases. I imagine it would be nice to live in a time where we/I might choose not to take offence at all. I am getting better I believe. I find personally my weakest times for taking offence are when I am tired or sick, or very busy or preoccupied. At least recognising the triggers, helps me be aware that when things happen whilst I am in those zones, I need to think first and then say or act. Though as you can imagine, I am human and often find that when I say or do things I didn't mean, or even if I did, I always feel guilty about hurting others and it takes a protracted amount of time to make things right. You expend so much more energy fixing a problem or situation than if you had've guarded your thoughts, speech or action in the beginning. True isn't it, "a stitch in time saves nine".

Human relations are fraught with difficulty and without over dramatising the situation, it is a virtual minefield. Yet through it all, incumbent with its dangers, I love it. That said, human relations also are saturated with significance, joy and love. I enjoy being around people and learning from them and most especially enjoy just watching people.

There are times that my male-ness is obvious and painful to some, but I also possess a quality that is not always apparent to others that allows me to objectively see other men and women in a way that highlights much about human behaviour generally for me. I always enjoy the theatre of watching a guy who walks past a woman he wants to impress, the whole body takes on a posture I refer to as "Peacock feathering", and akin to his feathered counterpart, a series of behaviours occurs which is interesting to watch and interesting to see that I too have acted the same way. It is in my small experience, seemingly universal to men, and on the other side, I have observed with some degree of interest; women look at other woman much more critically than a man would. I notice that when I show people photo albums and images to allow them to evaluate the quality of my work, I just watch the eyes of people, their expressions, and listen to their comments. It is amazing that very few, actually ever see the quality of the work itself, the women mostly comment on how the Bride in the picture looks or is dressed, whether the dress doesn't compliment her, or whether it does and the colours they had for the bridesmaids. It is amazing to witness.

Further to this, when I have walked into different settings with or near women, I observe with much curiosity the women in the restaurant, hall or venue ALL look at the dresses, handbags and shoes and how other women look, and there is this pose I have witnessed where a woman will pretend to look away by turning her face in a different direction but the eyes remain locked and "loaded". I am fascinated. I note that the glances of a woman to other women is mostly not always done in a demeaning way, though I have see it can be on occasion, but mostly I think there is a natural curiosity women and I share.

I once worked with a woman I really liked. Not in a weird or romantic way, I so admired her wardrobe. She was dressed "hot" every day. I asked Lydia one day, you must have a huge amount of clothes to which she responded, no Craig I have a few basic dresses, but I accessorise, and I learned a great deal from her. She once caught me looking and smiling at her and she probed me to why and I said simply I can see you do accessorise, and she said I should never have told you that. You know too much she said. Perhaps I am a metro sexual male, but I love the theatre of life, of living and of experience.

I have just wanted to express this today not to be critical, but more to express my wonder and appreciation for the chance I get to "see" through the eyes of others. Both from the lens of my cameras, but also from the perspective of other peoples experience. I even get a glimpse of myself occasionally as well. It is good to be blogging again.