The flickering flame

A dear friend of mine reminded me yesterday of the importance of making a difference to the world by starting from within. This was something that came in response to a previous post of mine on this blog. I had made mention of my stand to become more caring and tolerant. She also said that she was a small flame. Indeed at times we can think we are but small flames. In my response to Lynn, I was reminded of the words of a song from the Church College of New Zealand that I shared with her and will share here now also. After hearing and singing it many times myself previously, the words struck me with a new meaning and understanding. It is a simple song that is still very relevant.

It is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark,
better far than to light, just one little candle
All you need is a tiny spark,
If we all say a prayer that the world would be free
What a wonderful dawn of a new day we'd see
And if everyone lit, just one little candle what a bright world this would be

Isn't living an amazing experience?
I have undergone a great deal of growth in the last few weeks, and perhaps more significantly in the last few days. I have felt love and joy, sadness and pain. I have come to understand more about the impact I make in life. The considered impact upon myself, the impact on others and on life generally. A Professor of Law and psychology who once addressed the UN on the rights of the family and the individual and was a key note address speaker in Geneva in recent times, said to me on one occasion that we make the mistake of thinking that life is ours, we can do what we want, it's our body and our life. He added the flawed nature of that mistaken belief, and said that we are in very essence the culmination of all the hopes and dreams of our parents and forebears who want the best for us and who will one day us ask us for an accounting of what we did with their name and with our lives. Interesting thought.

I feel very unworthy on occasion for the love and respect people have for me. I have hurt many people with my actions. Not with physical abuse or things of that nature. Whilst never wanting to hurt anybody, the impact upon me presently about the choices and directions I take in life and the wider ramifications to others is sobering. It still is only now registering that I can make a choice or action that will affect the rest of my life or the lives of others. I think in the movie Gladiator, Marcus Aurelius made the comment "what we do here and now echoes in eternity." I am so grateful that many of the pranks I pulled or downright stupid things I did as a teen were never malicious or caused me to have life long regrets, though I do cringe at some of the things I did and still do sometimes.

In the evergreen words of Frank Sinatra's signature tune, My Way he sang:

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels,
And not the words of one, who kneels,
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

I do not think I will look upon another individual in dismissive judgement again, without first realising the many faults and weaknesses I have may in fact be much more than they have. I believe me to be a good person intrinsically, but recognise my flaws. I am convinced there may be people who read this who will recognise and know of many more also. For those who are hurt by my actions or words I deeply and unreservedly apologise. I am trying so hard to live life the best way I can, in being true to the person I want to be, and the person I can become and the person I am right now. It would be easy to sit back and say it's everyone else’s fault, but we all know that the way to rise or fall or become cynical, angry, happy and accomplished lies within each of us. I have always been impressed with the thought that the greatest of all human achievement began with a single thought. So in full circle to how this post started. The thoughts I have to begin anew and be better today than I was yesterday can be like a flame on a candle which may be buffeted from the winds of opposition, as I brace the flame with my hand to prevent it from being extinguished, I move gingerly forward.

Become the person you have always wanted to be. "Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make the world a better place if you can." And we all can.

I wish you all peace and happiness today.